Yesterday She Was Two
Yesterday was an intense day. Joelle seems to have two big triggers - when daddy leaves and when he comes home. Very odd and interesting to me but it helps to recognize them. So, Daddy was coming home yesterday and so it was a bit rocky.
I am learning not to overreact as much to some of her actions. So, yesterday she told Zoe, "You Suck!" and then later she gave her the finger ( you know what I mean). I have NO IDEA where she has even seen that! I was shocked! This happened at the grocery store, so when she came home she was in time out briefly but she was actually close to me. Still, she was very upset to be in time out. After she came out of time out she sat on my lap and snuggled and we talked. I asked her to go finish her lunch and that is when the two year old came out. She told me NO she was NOT going to finish her lunch nor was she going upstairs! Then she began to have quite the tantrum! It was almost comical! I was clearly dealing with a two or three year old rather than a five year old. I decided to de-escalate the situation by taking her into my lap and talking to her about it. I think she had really needed more time on my lap after the time out, which is why the melt down occurred. After a snuggle and conversation about how important it was that she learned to obey Mommy and Daddy, she was able to happily go finish her lunch with no problems.
Mike and I realized it is a very good sign and a positive step that she is acting like this. It means that she is going through her developmental phases that she missed due to trauma and neglect. It feels good to have peace and feel like we are coming out from under the umbrella of fear and lack of hope. Someone who has never been through this would never understand the fear one feels when you have one child hurting another. You feel helpless because traditional parenting does not stop the event! Thankfully, God knows what is is doing and we are His so we trust Him to take care of us.
I am learning not to overreact as much to some of her actions. So, yesterday she told Zoe, "You Suck!" and then later she gave her the finger ( you know what I mean). I have NO IDEA where she has even seen that! I was shocked! This happened at the grocery store, so when she came home she was in time out briefly but she was actually close to me. Still, she was very upset to be in time out. After she came out of time out she sat on my lap and snuggled and we talked. I asked her to go finish her lunch and that is when the two year old came out. She told me NO she was NOT going to finish her lunch nor was she going upstairs! Then she began to have quite the tantrum! It was almost comical! I was clearly dealing with a two or three year old rather than a five year old. I decided to de-escalate the situation by taking her into my lap and talking to her about it. I think she had really needed more time on my lap after the time out, which is why the melt down occurred. After a snuggle and conversation about how important it was that she learned to obey Mommy and Daddy, she was able to happily go finish her lunch with no problems.
Mike and I realized it is a very good sign and a positive step that she is acting like this. It means that she is going through her developmental phases that she missed due to trauma and neglect. It feels good to have peace and feel like we are coming out from under the umbrella of fear and lack of hope. Someone who has never been through this would never understand the fear one feels when you have one child hurting another. You feel helpless because traditional parenting does not stop the event! Thankfully, God knows what is is doing and we are His so we trust Him to take care of us.
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