Freedom
Mike and I are so delighted to see Zoe experiencing a new level of freedom and joy in her life these days. She is growing and taking on more responsibility and therefore experiencing more freedom in her life. This gives me so much joy to watch!
I remember when Zoe was about three years old. I put her in a ballet class to see if it might be something she would like. At three years old she REFUSED to participate if I was watching her! She would not do anything if I were in the room. I did not really understand what it was about at the time, so I just gave her some space. Fast forward to age nine. Zoe continued that behavior of sorts until about a year ago. I think it was her perfectionistic nature - her desire to be loved and fear that if she was not perfect then she would lose our love:( That makes me so sad that she might have felt that way! She received tons of love and acceptance from us but we were still too hard for what her sensitive heart could handle. It took us a long time to get that.
Now we are parenting very differently - using Heather Forbes and Karyn Purvis' models. Zoe loves to sing and a year ago she would NEVER sing in front of us. But, praise God, now she not only sings in front of us but she has even sung in front of all the classes at her elementary school! She is constantly singing at home now. When I hear it my heart is glad because I know where she started! I know what it says about her healing.
I remember when Zoe was about three years old. I put her in a ballet class to see if it might be something she would like. At three years old she REFUSED to participate if I was watching her! She would not do anything if I were in the room. I did not really understand what it was about at the time, so I just gave her some space. Fast forward to age nine. Zoe continued that behavior of sorts until about a year ago. I think it was her perfectionistic nature - her desire to be loved and fear that if she was not perfect then she would lose our love:( That makes me so sad that she might have felt that way! She received tons of love and acceptance from us but we were still too hard for what her sensitive heart could handle. It took us a long time to get that.
Now we are parenting very differently - using Heather Forbes and Karyn Purvis' models. Zoe loves to sing and a year ago she would NEVER sing in front of us. But, praise God, now she not only sings in front of us but she has even sung in front of all the classes at her elementary school! She is constantly singing at home now. When I hear it my heart is glad because I know where she started! I know what it says about her healing.
Oh that is so very WONDERFUL!
ReplyDeleteShout it from the housetops! :)
That is great.... My daughter has a similar issue. How I wish I'd understood it earlier. When she came from Russia she was the most lovely dancer! But, she realized that she couldn't stand people to watch her! Not just us - anyone.
ReplyDeleteThings are going much better for her overall, but we haven't beat that yet.
Annie, I will be praying that God gives you and your husband wisdom to understand the key to this issue. We certainly don't have everything figured out. In fact, it took the desperation that we felt to cause us to fast and pray that God would lead us to the parenting style that our children needed. That is when God lead us to Heather Forbes and Karyn Purvis. It is still baby steps in some areas but we are seeing progress for both of them. It was almost as if they could not move forward in certain areas. Once we started the new parenting and met some of the needs they were missing then they were able to move forward.
DeleteHOORAH - and you can thanks Christie for sending me by! Our middle adopted still has "shutdown syndrome" - if I look at her and say "no" it provokes a complete shutdown - but if I say "Princess - your dad would prefer if you do something else" I get complete compliance....ugh... but I'll take it - becuase it's an improvement and it's where she is right now!
ReplyDeletehugs - aus and co.
So true! It's all in the delivery isn't it? I showed shock when Zoe licked a spoon the other day and she first got angry at me and then she was hurt. It made me realize how I need to show self control in more areas! So glad to meet you!
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