Epiphany
I had a sort of Epiphany yesterday. It just goes to show that even those of us who are living this life don't always "get it." Things are not always as they appear. The girls were having a shower last night. When Joelle got out she walked by Zoe and hit her in the head ( with her own head). Zoe was upset and thought Joelle had done it on purpose. I am thankful I was able to see it. It was obvious from my perspective that Joelle had misjudged the amount of space between Zoe and the shower door. She thought she had the space to walk through it safely but she did not. As a result, she ran into Zoe.
Now I can understand how Zoe might think that it was intentional from her limited information. Most people can make that judgement call with no problems. Unfortunately, Joelle cannot. I have always known that Joelle had some problems in this area but what I realized was that some of the times that she had hurt Zoe had been accidental. It was a lack of understanding on both of their parts. Now, many times she has pinched or hit, which was definitely on purpose. Which explains why Zoe might expect the worst.
It was a wonderful learning opportunity for us all. That we don't always have ALL of the information and therefore we can jump to the wrong conclusions. I have been quick to judge at times without giving the benefit of the doubt. I took this opportunity to talk to Joelle and let her know that I understood that it was an accident. She was hurt that Zoe thought it was on purpose and got mad at her. I then talked to Zoe and explained the situation. She did not quite understand it at first but I was able to demonstrate that Joelle did this not just with Zoe but to herself as well. Many times she has hit her own head on things because she cannot judge where her body is in space. She falls easily because she misjudges where her foot will end up on the stairs,etc. This was a good for Zoe to hear, so that she can learn more empathy and understanding.
I am proud of Zoe because little by little she is learning to rise to the responsibility of being a big sister. She is learning to forgive and be merciful. Joelle is learning to let Zoe be the big sister. She is learning to trust Us even when it does not make sense to her. I am very proud of both of them and the progress they are making! This is a note that Joelle gave me last month. I put it in her memory box. Translation: I like my family because they are nice. I like Zoe because she is nice. I like Mom because she is nice. I like Dad because he is nice:)
Now I can understand how Zoe might think that it was intentional from her limited information. Most people can make that judgement call with no problems. Unfortunately, Joelle cannot. I have always known that Joelle had some problems in this area but what I realized was that some of the times that she had hurt Zoe had been accidental. It was a lack of understanding on both of their parts. Now, many times she has pinched or hit, which was definitely on purpose. Which explains why Zoe might expect the worst.
It was a wonderful learning opportunity for us all. That we don't always have ALL of the information and therefore we can jump to the wrong conclusions. I have been quick to judge at times without giving the benefit of the doubt. I took this opportunity to talk to Joelle and let her know that I understood that it was an accident. She was hurt that Zoe thought it was on purpose and got mad at her. I then talked to Zoe and explained the situation. She did not quite understand it at first but I was able to demonstrate that Joelle did this not just with Zoe but to herself as well. Many times she has hit her own head on things because she cannot judge where her body is in space. She falls easily because she misjudges where her foot will end up on the stairs,etc. This was a good for Zoe to hear, so that she can learn more empathy and understanding.
I am proud of Zoe because little by little she is learning to rise to the responsibility of being a big sister. She is learning to forgive and be merciful. Joelle is learning to let Zoe be the big sister. She is learning to trust Us even when it does not make sense to her. I am very proud of both of them and the progress they are making! This is a note that Joelle gave me last month. I put it in her memory box. Translation: I like my family because they are nice. I like Zoe because she is nice. I like Mom because she is nice. I like Dad because he is nice:)
Glad you could seize on a "teachable" moment - sometimes I wish adults could be that mature! ;)
ReplyDeletehugs - aus and co.