Parenting and Healing
Three people in our family bite their nails. I won't say which three but this is a fact. This is one way that some people handle anxiety. This is not something abnormal but I noticed one of the girls was more dedicated to this habit than another! We had many visits to the dermatologist due to infected fingers and at one point it was so bad that many layers of skin were removed on the fingers as well.
I looked down the other day and noticed that her pretty hands and fingers looked almost healed! I wanted to jump for joy because this spoke volumes to me. After a year of BCLC and Karyn Purvis parenting we have come so far! We are still doing it imperfectly but progress is being made by leaps and bounds.
Just yesterday I found myself falling back into old habits. Truly, I think we as the parents have to make more changes than the child for them to heal. A good example would be teaching a child how to clean their room. The parent has to be consistent to tell the child to clean their room. When they are young or young "internally" we must,many times,help them clean up. Then they progess to the point that we can give them the instructions in chunks - 1. Put away all of your books and then Mommy will give you the next instructions. And when they are more independent we still must remind them to clean their rooms until it becomes a habit. So, it takes consistent, gentle guidance on the parents part for the children to learn to clean their rooms.
I remember when Zoe was three and I was trying to start this training. I did not "get" the fact that it was overwhelming to a three year old to tell them to make their bed. I laugh at the thought of me beating my head against the proverbial wall but it makes me sad for sweet, three year old Zoe because I know that I frustrated her many, many times. I was asking her to do things that she just could not do at the time! I am learning better how to train my children in a way that does not frustrate them. I feel this is the true definition of discipling our children - to gently guide and teach them how to live their life. To teach them to be more like Christ in character and love just as Christ has done for me.
I looked down the other day and noticed that her pretty hands and fingers looked almost healed! I wanted to jump for joy because this spoke volumes to me. After a year of BCLC and Karyn Purvis parenting we have come so far! We are still doing it imperfectly but progress is being made by leaps and bounds.
Just yesterday I found myself falling back into old habits. Truly, I think we as the parents have to make more changes than the child for them to heal. A good example would be teaching a child how to clean their room. The parent has to be consistent to tell the child to clean their room. When they are young or young "internally" we must,many times,help them clean up. Then they progess to the point that we can give them the instructions in chunks - 1. Put away all of your books and then Mommy will give you the next instructions. And when they are more independent we still must remind them to clean their rooms until it becomes a habit. So, it takes consistent, gentle guidance on the parents part for the children to learn to clean their rooms.
I remember when Zoe was three and I was trying to start this training. I did not "get" the fact that it was overwhelming to a three year old to tell them to make their bed. I laugh at the thought of me beating my head against the proverbial wall but it makes me sad for sweet, three year old Zoe because I know that I frustrated her many, many times. I was asking her to do things that she just could not do at the time! I am learning better how to train my children in a way that does not frustrate them. I feel this is the true definition of discipling our children - to gently guide and teach them how to live their life. To teach them to be more like Christ in character and love just as Christ has done for me.
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