Adoptive/Foster Mom's Tea

I will be having another monthly tea for Adoptive and Foster Mom's this Saturday. Please pray that I have the energy and am well enough on Saturday. Below is my e-mail to the ladies:

Hi Ladies,
I am back in the land of the living now! For those of you who did not know I just had surgery to remove my gallbladder. It was a quick and unexpected thing although a long time coming really! I have missed seeing you all and can't wait to get back to our monthly meetings! Our next meeting is scheduled for October 12th at 10am. That is a Saturday to enable working and homeschooling Mothers to attend.

I have attached an article from Karyn Purvis' website entitled, "When Good Things Are Not Good." Mike and I have learned from practical experience that "busyness" can be a real stumbling block for our children and even the enemy of bonding. It's tempting to think because everyone else has their children in a million things that we must do the same for our children. We may be afraid that they will fall behind or we may feel that they need the "socialization" of other children, or quite honestly we may need a break. What we must remember is that our children have particular needs that other biological children may not. Those needs ( attachment, bonding, security) must be met FIRST before we can worry about other things. In fact, I would argue that you CANNOT teach some things until our children have attached to us and healed somewhat. If your child has been home for several years but is still having melt-downs it may be the time to take a step back and work on some basics. Instead of punishment think of relationship instead. The end goal is not obedience but a secure and attached relationship and healing! The obedience will flow from the relationship. So think Time In, Do –Overs, Using humor, modeling the correct behavior through a skit, Being with them to help them calm down, etc. Many of these ideas are found in Karyn Purvis' book, "The Connected Child and her website Remember that Jesus did not give us what we deserved but he parents us with mercy and grace. Romans 2:4

Please feel free to call me anytime ladies. This is a blessed and wonderful journey but it takes stamina and wisdom from God to navigate along with others who will support you. Don't do the journey alone:) 

Sherrie Coffey


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