Healing
I can't remember the last time Joelle or Zoe had a meltdown. I find that as there is less chaos inside of a person that the outward stuff falls more in line. That is just a theory of mine but it appears to be true to me. The girls rooms are neater now and I sort of feel like it is because they are doing better on the inside. I am also finding them more polite and respectful than they were previously. Healing is taking place.
One of my girls is now able to look other adults in the eye and answer them. I remember trying to teach this one for many years and it just would not take! The cleaning of the room as well! It appears that something else needed to take place in order for her to learn these things. In truth, I am not even sure what it was but I know that I did everything I possibly could to teach these things and they just were NOT taking! It reminds me of the steps each child must go through developmentally. If they miss any of those steps then they may get "stuck" until they are able to go through that developmental phase. This was my experience with my girls. I would be interested in other peoples experience with this. Did you experience the same thing? What do you think helped move your children forward?
One of my girls is now able to look other adults in the eye and answer them. I remember trying to teach this one for many years and it just would not take! The cleaning of the room as well! It appears that something else needed to take place in order for her to learn these things. In truth, I am not even sure what it was but I know that I did everything I possibly could to teach these things and they just were NOT taking! It reminds me of the steps each child must go through developmentally. If they miss any of those steps then they may get "stuck" until they are able to go through that developmental phase. This was my experience with my girls. I would be interested in other peoples experience with this. Did you experience the same thing? What do you think helped move your children forward?
Absolutely! We have had to parent according to EMOTIONAL age, not chronological age.
ReplyDeleteThat means an 11 year old making mud pies and getting into things like a toddler. But in 2 years, she has caught up with her age group.
If we didn't parent that way, she would have remained stuck.... back in the past and unable to heal.
So thankful for God's leading!
You are AWESOME!
You couldn't be more correct - we call them "marbles". You only have so many in your bag - and if your are "spending them" to keep your self calm - regulated - whatever you want to call it, then you don't have enough left to "clean the room", or "look someone in the eye" or whatever else. But - as you "get there" then you have the strength to do the rest - it just get's "easier". Way to go - and congrats at the healing that is happening!
ReplyDeleteGlad that you are enjoying your little vacation too - great stuff that!
hugs - aus and co.