A New Parenting Style
I don't write very much on my blog these days. I think at times I am just so overwhelmed with what we are going through that it takes all of my strength just to get through the day. I usually collapse into bed at night emotionally exhausted. That does not leave any extra reserve to write many times. And if the truth were told I probably get depressed at times by our situation. But, I do want to chronicle what we have gone through because I know that there will be a God story at the end!
I want to proclaim the truth BEFORE it takes place:) God is having me exercise my faith muscle on a daily basis these days. So, I repeat to myself.... I CAN do this thing that has been difficult beyond imagination( I can do ALL things through Christ Jesus who give me strength)! God is our healer and physician and He can heal anyone! He put Joelle in our family and His plan was GOOD ( For I know the plans I have for you, plans for good and not evil so that you might have a future and an hope)!
So, we have been implementing our new parenting style for a while now. We are using some Heather Forbes and some Karyn Purvis. It is interesting because I am trying to implement things that I have not actually learned to do! I am behind the curve in a sense because our situation was rather serious and it took me quite a while to get my arms around it. We came home from China with Joelle and eight months later had to move to Montana for Mike's job. We spent 15 months in Montana and then moved back to Atlanta.
We are seeing great improvement with Joelle as she feels safer and less fearful. But I find it easy to fall back into my traditional parenting style when I don't know what to do - to go back to all of the consequences. I did that this week because Mike was out of town on business and I was tired and frustrated. The girls were challenging me more than normal and I was not prepared. I am still trying to figure out what this parenting style actually looks like as well. How do you handle it when they challenge you outright? I know I have to make them obey but what are my available tools? I've read all of their books and even attended a Karyn Purvis seminar but what does it look like to parent with BCLC? I'm just not always sure.
I want to proclaim the truth BEFORE it takes place:) God is having me exercise my faith muscle on a daily basis these days. So, I repeat to myself.... I CAN do this thing that has been difficult beyond imagination( I can do ALL things through Christ Jesus who give me strength)! God is our healer and physician and He can heal anyone! He put Joelle in our family and His plan was GOOD ( For I know the plans I have for you, plans for good and not evil so that you might have a future and an hope)!
So, we have been implementing our new parenting style for a while now. We are using some Heather Forbes and some Karyn Purvis. It is interesting because I am trying to implement things that I have not actually learned to do! I am behind the curve in a sense because our situation was rather serious and it took me quite a while to get my arms around it. We came home from China with Joelle and eight months later had to move to Montana for Mike's job. We spent 15 months in Montana and then moved back to Atlanta.
We are seeing great improvement with Joelle as she feels safer and less fearful. But I find it easy to fall back into my traditional parenting style when I don't know what to do - to go back to all of the consequences. I did that this week because Mike was out of town on business and I was tired and frustrated. The girls were challenging me more than normal and I was not prepared. I am still trying to figure out what this parenting style actually looks like as well. How do you handle it when they challenge you outright? I know I have to make them obey but what are my available tools? I've read all of their books and even attended a Karyn Purvis seminar but what does it look like to parent with BCLC? I'm just not always sure.
I think Karyn Purvis works well ONCE the children are secure.... Heather Forbes works BEST in the stage you are in right now. :)
ReplyDeleteI talked to my daughter in law just yesterday about some of the differences. Karyn Purvis insists on Eye contact. Heather Forbes and Bryan post do not!
I agree with the latter, UNTIL the kids are secure.
I can ask Alli to "look at me", in a gentle tone now...where a year ago, it was a non issue. She was too ashamed.
When it comes to outright disrespect. Gently telling a child, "It is not ok to talk to mama that way".... and then showing them the differences is a good model. It is really hard to not take things personally.... but TRY HARD not to... because it really isn't. :)
I am so proud of you!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks Christie! I am signing up for Heathers online course because the Live does not come to our area. I think the closest location is Kansas.
ReplyDeleteZoe is not responding so well to gently telling her this is not ok to being disrespectful to Mama. She is so angry that she is being rather aggressive herself. I guess I thought she would be farther along after being home seven years and having a LOT of nurturing. I am becoming pretty good at not getting angry and not taking it personally but I wonder if I need to be doing something more with Zoe.
Thank you so much for your encouragement and your posts on the website! I am learning so much from you!